Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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