I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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