There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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