i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
