hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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