I love black thongs
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
