I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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