Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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