Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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