Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
