Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize