quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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