Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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