If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so much tequila, so little girl.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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