She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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