there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The adults are the big ones right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
