we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
