I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
