I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
