I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
