i don't plan on having that self control this summer
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
