I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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