That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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