That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
