ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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