There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
