you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
