look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
