jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
