Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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