She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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