i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize