But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
