Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
