Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize