He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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