I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Fuck me I smell like cheese
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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