What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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