and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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