O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
