We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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