i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
