; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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