oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
