She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
