how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
