my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
