Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
