I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Oh god it's open bar.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
