holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize