he wants to bone in the snuggie
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
In America we eat man semen.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize