in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
