You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
